Lying down in the wake of the newly hit panic mode, the silence around seemed so disturbing unlike most stressful instances where silence could be the best ever desired. 2:22!, 3:33!, 4:44!, 5:55! and thank god there was no 6:66! and beyond in the clock. Four full hours of constant messing up of a wonderful day in a mind that is so bubbling otherwise. Of guilt that can engulf in my mind for many sleepless nights and what would give a false opinion in the bubbling mind, can it be explained? Well, it is to stay dumped here.
Lying on the bed, it seemed like tremors shaking the entire place. The heartrate was so wild and uncontrollable, the palpitations seeming to throw me out of the bed. Trying to stay calm, closing the eyes, it seemed to rain from inside. Hard to keep it under cover, i let out the stream of words in spite of promising to stay off for sometime.
I have seen a hundred playing cards stacked up to create a beautiful structure and have also witnessed the entire fragile structure coming crashing down when the 101st card was being stacked on top of the structure. The mind that carried a million or more pile-ups came crashing down for just a silly riddle. One upon the other, it came crashing that even before the previous crash was to be controlled, the next fell in line making the collapse even more out of control.
Words, spiralled out of control, hard to keep in flow with the conversation, emotions running wild, the urge to wrap it up and sort things going out of hand, a pause speeding up the collapse and bridging words blinding the actual senses and tenses, it ended ultimately as a failed attempt.
I never knew silence outside could make the inner self so noisy. Talks, curses on the self, opinions, ideas, whispers, of entire audiences frowning upon, and what not, seemed to reveal the amount of panic that was triggered. The incident also kicked the mind to realise as to how and where to use what words and at what circumstances. Learning? Yes, it is. But, at what cost?
More of learning for the self, yet no intention to suffocate the air out of the Bubbles; it seems to be clear that excess of love towards each other is certainly the one that is responsible for this mischief and that sheer awesomeness of the Bubbles is of what i have discovered already and need not be termed as the reason for this mess that was triggered as probably a solar storm in the 'solar system'. To fall apart is no longer an option for, the Bubbles has been absorbed into this 'solar system'.*Winks*
Mentor, guide, and what not? Is this how i keep up the titles to hold good? Not certainly. Yet, how can i ever clarify the actual perspective? I cannot use the tried and failed medium. Hence, i look forward to the tried and tested medium. *Grins* Like a pack of cards in the hands of a never-say-die attitude filled visionary, All is well. Let the good times roll. -rPhoenix