Confessions...

Sometimes it is good to speak frankly and  about things that have been protected by the ego element. Today, I will let out few of those aspects that my ego prevented me from saying out loud. Firstly, yes. I have learnt so much from you which I felt ashamed to have not learnt being ahead of you in age. 

Bubbles \(^_^)/, most importantly, I have not understood you as much as you understand me. Say, you and me know each other for nearly a decade but although I have attention to detail, I have missed very badly on catching certain things right in front of my eyes. I have not understood you as much as you understand me. Even now, you wanted to have an eye on me in someway or the other in spite of your hectic schedule. I failed to grasp the detail about your care for me and behaved like a kid. 

My ego has been so destructive towards you. That is what I feel. If you agree, you can let me know when you read this someday. I have not done justice to what you do for me. You keep asking me to eat and take care of my health and look a little better than what I am right now. That is such a basic requirement that I should be fulfilling. I have beaten down my ego now. I am working hard to eating well, sleeping well and working on my fitness levels. 

Sometimes, I feel it is my ego that is hurting me from within. I have only fooled myself in all this. When I beat the crap out of my ego, I am able to deliver more than expectations. I am working on it. But, what puts me in puppy mood is, at this juncture, I am unable to access you. 

Where are you, Love? Come here and take me into your arms. Let me make confessions and console me with some real confetti and confectionary. Deep in my heart, I feel the need for you. But, right when I am confessing all these, why have you become evasive? 

In a way, my ego keeps me safe from predators and parasites. But, only now I have realised how destructive the same ego can be to my near and dear. I know you will get to read this soon. And, when you do, just come to terms that there is a confessionary side to me as well. Love you Bubbles \(^_^)/ -rPhoenix