Walk with your words...

When I was undergoing an emotional turmoil after completing a quarter of a century's worth of days living my Life, you came in. You asked me to be in your Life. You accepted me. You brought so much to my Life. I started living. For you, to make your Life worth every moment that when you take your last breath, I wanted you to fight for much more time with me. This, my Love is still my intention to stay with you. 

I have to mention the following. I have to. Carrying forward from the first paragraph, I continue... But, the way things happened and the way you felt pained and when I relate to see that I am one of the reasons and when I came to know from you every single time that I am being hated, and how I am incapable and how you see me as a mistake, that is it. I started developing interest towards my end. Every night I wish I had fulfilled my actual intention to stay with you. 

Although I continue to battle negativity and try to build a world for you, sometimes I break down like a dried bamboo cracking. I have starved but I have never taken money from anyone to fill my stomach or satisfy my hunger. I have been stabbed but I do not cry loud in pain because I will not let even my enemy hear my painful cry. Nowadays, I do not let even my near and dear know of what I undergo. 

I wish I could plead to you kneeling down until my actual intention is understood or at least the mistaken misconceptions are cleared off. For, I cannot take even a casual statement of insult easily. I am not used to being insulted. But, I have come across varying degrees of the same. 

Some day I will be understood, I tell myself. Some day my intentions will be known better, I tell myself. I may find myself ripped into shreds but even in that, I see some positivity and build myself again. Otherwise, I would not have been able to pull along till now. 

If this Love had ignited in the mind and is fighting against the heart, it is a battle of no purpose. Our Love ignited in the heart and is fighting against the mind. Thus, I know it is worth fighting for. Always, I cherish only our good times. I am not a millionaire or a billionaire by monetary worth. But, I have given you many millions of words, true from my heart. 

I heard you say out of frustration that nothing can be plucked with just words. I am recalling that here now. And, I will go and read these:

"...He took her into his arms and asked,

Are you feeling safe with me?

She hugged and replied,

With you, its always!

Path was undisturbed and so her Life!

Anytime to pronounce the world

To be his wife and even afterlife..

For his true Love and affection!..."

To me, those verses are made of not just words but a lot more. And, I go by the best quote that says,

"...A word is just a word until you bring them to your mind and heart..."

I don't trust the mind. I take words to my heart. I walk with your words in my heart. And, I hope some day my actual intention will be understood. -rPhoenix