Tonight it begins. The night is so young but the routine is too old to make any difference. After a long long time, the flame has brought me back to scribble. The same flame that was supposed to give light at the end of the tunnel has eventually burnt the palaces out of existence. With nowhere to go, not knowing where to start or what to write, this space seems to be strange and weird. Alright, where or what do I start with?...
To begin with, is there anything to even write about? Well, there is so much waiting to burst out and the more I seem to refrain, the more it seems to take me down with all its weight and might. Do I start with what happened or why did it happen this way? Oh, I have not got my answers yet from you. So, I cannot enter that dimension. Do I start from where I left? Yes. That looks like a good idea. Or, do I start with where you ended up? Well, that is of no good seeing your recent days. Hmmm... Are these words even worth anything anymore? I doubt if there is any flair left in my words?!
The date stamp is putting me off. Those days, a fool kept scribbling frantic diary entries not knowing what had been plotted against him. And, when he came to know of it and all these years, there is still no care or a f@ck thrown around to elaborate anything. Every time I sit with this realisation, I look forward to see a miracle to take me to the moment of revelation. But, in few minutes I end up scratching my head left with no clue. Life's problems could not destroy me. But, your silence seems to be working well. I know you are not dumb but you are certainly dumb when you remain silent.
Many notes written, many nights have gone past waiting, the burden I carry is the result of my faith, belief and hope. The inner voice that screams, the deep breaths that follow, the random texts that you read along are all worth it only if you can make it before it is too late. Huh, do you even realise we are sitting in a state where neither you nor me would know if either of us have suddenly stopped breathing? As days progress, this society seems to be headed towards the heights of disgust.
Who knows what is next? Wait, I am yet to figure out the purpose of the current post and why talk about the next? Should I write further? Is there an escape? No. I certainly have lost EVERYTHING. There is nothing left. But, there is pain. Excruciating pain, as they aptly describe. Is this pain blinding the purpose of this text? Is there an exit? What more is left to see? There is never-ending chaos and confusion. I was not made for this. I am built different. I am built to be burnt down. I am built to rise from the ashes. I am the r... The rPhoenix... Yet, I cannot figure out why and I have no idea where to start... Yet, tonight it begins... -rPhoenix
No comments:
Post a Comment