Right now, I do not want to sleep because it will put me into another day of uncertainty. Neither do I want to stay awake because I have got on answers today. In what sphere do I exist, it does not matter. In what dimension I dwell, it is of least bother. What is of constant concern is you, Bubbles! I am on the look out for any minute hint of knowing about you. These are desperate times. They might result in desperate measures. Where are we heading? What are we thinking?
After a great pause from scribbling, you have brought me back again. As ever, with your silence or secrecy. In which world you are floating around with your belief that your silence would make things better for me, I do not know. If you are still floating around thinking something alike, I would suggest you to come here and just put yourself in my shoes. The size might not fit, but the circumstances will certainly connect the dots.
How much I really have to write, I do not have an idea. All this long, you have been striving for something. Les Brown, the great motivational speaker, was screaming into my ears during my commute today. I was simply stoned at listening to what he has to say. Most of which, we have already done. So, we have to look forward for our rewards now than to sit back compromised. I will chase my dreams. It is not wise to chase away our dreams. Of course, you will come back with that load of having nothing to feel towards me or whatever as if you spent all the time with me since our last conversation.
These stale conversations will never yield anything. I will not entertain anymore as well. If you have so much to keep saying alike, I can help you out with a trip to the outer worlds where you can empty your words in the outer space to be lost there forever. Once you return, we will work out on how to make things better for ourselves.
My colleagues are so surprised to find someone like me who has invested all the time in thoughts about together forever with one person. Amidst such talks, I still emerge on top in trying to narrate the days of feeling so accomplished and of moments that give us the feel of being unbreakable. The most unsettling of all anxieties is the way you are behaving right now. I know things are getting better gradually. Our time is arriving shortly. It will start with your success in these exams.
It has been a long time since I sat down and scribbled. I would stay away from the Computer just to avoid a verbal or emotional diarrhea and spoil your preparation rhythm. But, with only a couple of weeks to the D-day, and with your exceptional veil that keeps me on my toes, I have to write it down. I have to write down whatever comes to my mind. I have no specific content to fill here. I am just doing the dance as usual with my fingers on the keyboard and I am sure I will not even look back at proof-reading the same.
Will you come here? Will you tell me something? Anything? Only couple of days back did I get to know you are still alive after your experimentation with the pills. Such is the uncertainty you throw upon that I wish I could breathe down upon you and demand "How on earth do you expect me to be normal?" But, my Lady! How is that even going to make any difference to the way you are going to behave? As ever, it is the same treatment to me, isn't it?
Right now, I do not wish to sleep and neither do I wish to stay awake. I know you are not enjoying anything neither. I wish this exam shadow is done and dusted once and for all. You have to explore much more other than these routines and the walls around you. I just cannot wait to see you live the experience. In a way, I am afraid if I am lifeless. In a way, I wish I could show you the world. Either way, everything is in your hands. Such is the irony. Huh! What I scribble here can be deciphered only by you. Such is our destiny. -rPhoenix
No comments:
Post a Comment