I know how many times you have mentioned about seriousness in Life. I know you have a perception about me that I have no seriousness in/about Life. I know you see only at the grass roots level of posts, Roses, about my fantasy talks and come up screaming asking if these would solve everything in Life. But,..... But,.... Just ask yourself, how much has missed your eye?! And, how much has skipped your thoughts?!...
My face shows no sign of a smile anywhere or anytime. My lifestyle shows no signs of relaxation. My behaviour shows no sign of slowing down my pace. My focus on you shows no signs of any giving up. Yet, you ask if I am serious or even aware about seriousness. Well, that is how I manage it. I put up a fake mask outside and deal with the actuals very seriously from inside.
When I walk through your lane, it is like my Life in a frame. A narrow lane, unknown elements ahead, light from behind your gates illuminating my path, as I approach your gates, there is light, walking past your gates, there is a massive shadow; into which I am forced to walk and remain in the dark because you keep the gates slam shut. But, I come all the way to see this reality through my eyes and be aware that you have ultimate control. I know I cannot see you if I come there. Still, I come to live through what I have narrated in this paragraph. This is the reason I come for a walk at nights so the frame matches what I am living through.
As I walk through, I know that only I am outside, fighting for my survival. I am assured that all of you are safe inside, and I will never let you wander like me. Thus, I made you understand better of what consequences could come if you went ahead with your early 2019 mindset of leaving the house. Too much of blowing my trumpet, isn't it? That is how it is always. The one who plays the instrument actually gives air as input but what others hear is music and not air. So, if I speak of what it is actually like, it will appear only like music from a trumpet. Never mind.
My level of seriousness is too difficult to handle for everyone that they cannot sit and converse with me anymore. The element of seriousness has gotten into my bloodstream that even you do not feel anything anymore. The level of seriousness is such that, I have distanced all my distractions that I was once known for. No more Biking, social networking, socialising, sleeping peacefully, even smiling. Once upon a time, I had diffciulty in maintaining a frowned face because my cheek muscles would hurt if I did not laugh. But, now it is like, my facial muscles hurt if I even laugh sarcastically for few moments. Such is the seriousness...
Every word that is coming my way is filtered through multiple layers of firewall so that I do not miss out on the seriousness in it. And, whatever words I use, I make sure is filtered to not let any seriousness go unnoticed. But, to you, I have to wear the mask. You had your exams, you may not handle it if I present my reality. I played the clown, the fool and I will play whatever role it takes to keep you safe. Ultimately, who is at a loss here? It is me. I don't mind if it is for you.
People hate to see my eyes anymore. It is so overflowing with seriousness. Even, I have started to avoid seeing them. When Life asked me if I was betting on the stakes, I did not hesitate. I agreed. I am all in now. I am facing it. I will not be sitting idle if you are not attaining what you wanted by doing all these. I will breathe down upon you with all my seriousness. You will know by then. Again, relax. I will still stand guard for you. Even if this seriousness costs me and my Life's prospects. I gave my word to you. Isn't it? My seriousness will be proven when I live by my promise and words. That defines me. And, that is why I am the... -rPhoenix
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