Only a miracle can...

I hear voices from inside that are the echoes of my inner soul saying, "Only a miracle can simply keep me alive. Otherwise, all I have is less than ten months to be exact". I am not scared of what I will have to face. I am prepared to face it. But, this is how the factsheet is as of now. And, when this echo from within becomes loud enough at nights, oh, is sleep even an option to be considered?

Nights are not spent always in a cosy bed. Some nights like tonight are spent travelling end to end, on a bumpy ride, with the sound of the engine humming, at the mercy of someone's ability to drive safe, trying to hope for the timely journey to only postpone the uncertainty by few more months, less than ten months to be exact. 

The clock is ticking. I wonder if it is towards the miracle or is it a countdown timer set for my presence here. I am not cowardly to write everything off and quit and seal my fate. I am running from end to end trying to postpone as much as possible to see if a miracle can save me. Truly, nothing short of a miracle can help me take one extra breath after ten months. Err... I mean, less than ten months to be exact because, the exact date is not finalised yet since I am putting up a fight to the finish. 

Sometimes you need everyone by your side. That is when you are in dire need. Sometimes, you need yourself to be by your side. That is when you are losing hope. Sometimes all you need is just one miracle, not to satisfy some greed, but to just take one more breath of fresh air and stay alive. Well, I cannot figure out where I stand now. But, the anxiety of the clock ticking is giving me the shivers. I have to keep myself warm. If only I can afford such a luxury from a loved one. 

I have started tonight on a journey, so much to do, so much to think, so much to cover, I forgot to set a return date for this trip. No earthly luxury is in sight now, just a soft corner for the heavens if possible. I am in a state of confusion if I should look towards earthly or heavenly desires, irrespective of whether they will materialise or not. On the move, trying hard to get some sleep, but these are days when a basic necessity sleep also appears to be a dear luxury. Can't wait to figure out what would it be in less than ten months. Only a miracle can.......... -rPhoenix