Heavy...

These are the matters of the heart. Not everyone can comprehend it. But, I know you can understand it better, Bubbles \(^_^)/. Last weekend was pretty much filled with only planning for what I had to do during the upcoming week. As usual everything was planned and I was only waiting for the dawn of Monday. But, things took a drastic turn. It is almost Tuesday dawning in few hours but, I have been stuck in this awkward freeze of the heart and mind.

Random rant...

After a long time, I am documenting something on a different note. It has been almost four years since this creature was born. Poor thing, would have been better if it had found a different home or even if left as a stray. When people cannot bend their spines for a pet that they get, they should simply let it go. Keeping them and torturing them is one thing, but what do you term the keeping and denying of basic rights? Money can buy anything nowadays. This is a classic example of how jealousy and money combined to ruin the life of a poor creature.

The step...

They kept threatening a prisoner of the gallows every time they wanted to see him in fear. One fine day, when everyone was searching for him, they found him fast asleep near the gallows. Upon questioning, he said, "The more you kept threatening me about the gallows, I developed an interest towards the same and my fear vanished. I am sleeping here because, I am ready for it anytime. If you wish to see me in the gallows, you need not take the effort to find and scare me anymore. I am here. It is just a matter of time before I hang there". What can you infer from this? Well, this is from no ancient story or reality. It is from my own Life. After the previous statement, I ask again, What can you infer from this? The question makes no sense, isn't it?

Emotions from the day...

The visit. It is done now. I had mentioned about the elaboration of the emotions while visiting the places of interest in the upcoming post. And, I am here just to pen down what I had to go through back there in just one day. Nobody gives a spoon if anyone cares about this post or not. If you are not interested, you should remind yourself as to how pointlessly you have been stalking this space for so long and bleed to death through your vents. I do not guarantee anything here because this is not your favourite TV show and you are not paying for what you are reading here. So, keep that fishing rod ready and engage yourself if you are feeling otherwise.

The visit...

I am here. The place where I was born and brought up. But, there's a lot more meaning for today's visit. I have come here for a reason. Oh, just a reason? *triple winks* Err... It is not just a reason. I feel this is far more beyond that. I am here, Bubbles \(^_^)/. I am here for you.

Fondness...

Are you fond of something or someone? Ever wondered what made you develop that feel? I am not talking about the reason behind your fondness. Those reasons are mere justifications that happen just for the sake of giving some supporting facts. I am talking about the actual spark that gave you this fondness. We may or may not find out about this spark because once we develop this fondness, we begin to allot a portion of the brain to start disliking something or the other about this fondness. Thanks to our ego. I do agree most of the brain is still mesmerised by this fondness. But, it is that small portion that makes all the difference.

Mastering the dark...

I am not afraid of the dark anymore. The day when they told me I have few more years to spend in the dark, maybe I had a sense of panic and anxiety about all the uncertainties but, as these years have expended themselves with all that they came packed with, I am here ready to face the dark for as long as they want me to. I even spent most of my road trips in the dark mastering the knack of handling the dark times with just a beam of light. Throw me into the ring filled with darkness and I can punch the teeth of your choice out from my opponent's mouth. *Smug of an evil thug*

The Phase...

It does not mean you are living just because you are alive. So, if someone throws you a question if you are alive, what would you reply? Most of them would question the person who questioned them asking, "Are you sane? or Are you blind? or Do I appear dead?" and the like. Some would take it on a lighter note and reply, "Yes." Very few would come up with an exciting "Yes, very much". And, it is very rare to find those who would open up and say, "Well, I am just existing" or something similar. Well, all those above mentioned answers or categories of people do not matter. I am here to tell you about something else.

A long night...

Just play that track for another ten times at least. *playing maate vinadhuga from taxiwaala* Alright, so that is what you do, Babe. Alright, you are content over there. But, it does not mean this verbal emptying should be paused, right? I have been trying to find some sleep for quite sometime. But, this heaviness that is hitting me from inside is like making me come out here and play those tracks nonstop and ponder over so many things to catch a glimpse of what is exactly causing this feel tonight.

What have I...?

What have I done for her? What have I given for her? Where have I taken her? There is a lot to ponder over. I do remember the list that comprises of what I have taken from her. I know what she has given for me. I know the places where she has taken me. She made a mention of feeling heavy. I did not feel it by then because I was elated by her presence. Now, I feel heavy. Partly upon realising that in spite of my presence, she felt heavy and I failed to do anything about that. Partly upon realising something else.

Heart in robes...

A silver lining in my skies, beaming at me as she fights;

Her battles were never in my plight, For she kept them always out of my sight;

In her ventures she showed me some light, towards where she headed always kept us in delight;

In the cold nights, she kept me away from the fright, Oh, we never knew of frost bite;

Until the moment, sanity came in and said, "Oh my Love, I have put you in deep strife".

Some stuff...

Some statements, some terminologies, some phrases are not meant to be heard or received. Not from your very near and dear and never from your loved one. Everyone undergoes stressful times and everyone has problems. And, there will be so much that we will come across or hear or feel during these times. What lets us come through in spite of our scars is not the motivation or determination, but the absence and avoidance of certain statements or terminologies or phrases. If such things are avoided, we get through faster and stronger. But, if those things happen, they will create scars bigger than those bitter experiences.