Heavy...

These are the matters of the heart. Not everyone can comprehend it. But, I know you can understand it better, Bubbles \(^_^)/. Last weekend was pretty much filled with only planning for what I had to do during the upcoming week. As usual everything was planned and I was only waiting for the dawn of Monday. But, things took a drastic turn. It is almost Tuesday dawning in few hours but, I have been stuck in this awkward freeze of the heart and mind.

I did not sleep as usual before my travel. Sunday night was filled with last minute preparation for the upcoming visit. Monday dawned. I should have taken the bus journey to visit all the places listed but I did not move from the bed. I fell asleep by 6A.M and woke up only by 4P.M. The first thing I did was to book my ticket for an overnight bus journey. 

It was 9P.M and I was sorting out my luggage and by 10P.M I was ready to pick my bag and leave but, a very heavy and burdened feel, something like a stressed mind and heavy heart combination struck me from nowhere. I walked back from the doorway and sat on the couch thinking what it  could be. 

By 11:20P.M, I spoke to Mom about my bus leaving from the pickup point and I was still finding it difficult to pick myself and leave. I still had the 'lorry' to ride overnight and makeup for the lost time. But, my heaviness seemed to get the better hold of me and I could not think clear with this feel. I kept delaying the departure because I do not step out with such clogged mindset and heavy heart. 

It was 1A.M and Tuesday had arrived by now. I was telling myself as to how my trip had been delayed by almost 24hours for now. Something somewhere, in some way was not letting me leave. So, I did not force myself. I saw that you have stayed away for a long time now. I woke my Mom and told her something is not right and it could be because of your exam stress or something else is not right with you, Bubbles \(^_^)/.

Now, this is not about whether I get my hunch right or wrong. It is 2:30A.M now and I have not fallen asleep and neither have I mustered the clarity to begin my journey. In fact, this journey consists of four days worth of travel to various places like temple visit in Chennai, visiting the person who has prepared your Horoscope far from the city, visit to Kalahasti temple and a visit after almost a year to Tirupati temple and then by Thursday morning I should be returning home. But, I have lost a full day with this heaviness and I am sitting here sending a cancellation text to all those concerned and ending up with our playlists and reclining to find some break from this heaviness. 

I am a lot more worried now about you. Just a few hours you stay away and I keep my thoughts fully focused on you and feeling worried, Bubbles \(^_^)/. Babe, where are you? What is this heaviness all about? I will be riding the 'lorry' to begin this journey soon. I am about to find out crucial information about you during this week. Before that, I just want you to be fine and keep a good focus on the final leg of your preparation. My Lady, I hope everything goes as planned. It is 3A.M now. Heading to more of our playlists and trying to speak to you in our way. -rPhoenix