We believe...

We believe in our Life.
We believe in our Love.
We believe in our unified heart.
We believe in our dreams.
We believe in our joy.
We believe in your freedom.
We believe in your stardom.
We believe in our Happiness.
We believe in our sovereignty.
We believe in our ingenuity.
We believe in our pain.
We believe in the resulting gain.
We believe in the prevailing rain.
We believe in the fears thwarted.
We believe in the years crossed.
We believe in the Promise that lives within.
We believe in our memories.
We believe in our pursuit to excellence.
We believe in our sheer will.
We believe in our fantasies.
We believe in our wishes.
We believe in our craziness.
We believe in our perseverance.
We believe in our togetherness.
We believe in our bonding.
We believe in our yearning.
We believe in our waiting.
We believe in our wanting.
We believe in our madness.
We believe in our fortunes.
We believe in our words.
We believe in our road to glory.
We believe in our battles.
We believe in our intimacy.
We believe in our fortress.
We believe in our marriage.
We believe in our children.
We believe in our future generations.

We believe in so many things Together Forever...

Bubbles \(^_^)/

-rPhoenix

No more riddles...

I cannot write in riddles anymore. I am trying to reach you. I do not know anything except the fact that you are not alright there. I can feel that you have something to tell me. I am severely depressed and my actions are proof for the same. I am hiding from the outer world entirely. Am unable to face the failure you have given me. 

Am disturbed from head to toe, in all other mental dimensions as well. It feels like a cancer has spread throughout. The pain arising out of it only makes me silence myself in turn. 

We are made for each other. I carry all our memories and moments. I carry our dreams and fantasies. I carry our talks of Together Forever. Where did I miss making it to the mark, my Love? Give me an answer. My soul is pleading to run out of this body. My mind is busy burning every ounce of energy to find you. My heart is racing to reach out to you. 

We have had enough words, my Love. It is time for actions. Either come and show me the light. Or, go and take my Life with you. But, please do not keep me in this state. I am unable to do anything. I am lying like a vegetable here. No riddles here. This is what is going on here.

-rPhoenix

I shall...........

Eyes are sweating more than usual. Are they working harder to find you or are they unable to stay dry with this pain, I do not know. The rain has been persisting ever since the news was heard. I am bleeding from within. Silent tears and fears are ripping  me apart.

The stride and spirit... Of Together Forever!

As far as I walk, as long as I breathe, as much as I feel, I carry with me, our spirit of Togetherness. What else matters, other than this ultimately, my Lady?! The far reaches of my footprint, the vast expanses of my thought process, the far reaching of all emotions, is the Love for you. Thus, I give my everything when it comes to you, My Lovely Bubbles \(^_^)/

My own county...

Life told me to be on my own. Hence, I am on my own. Not just in my own way, but am in my own realm, dimension, faith, hope, belief and so on. The reason why nobody can crack through my way is because of this. Nobody can simply do it. Thus, I am still on my own.

Frantic Diaries- 8

This month is an August month for us as the name suggests. Whoa! The Fully grown Moon's paved way for an overdose of travel. I am visiting places far and wide. But, why? You will know soon. The pace is as frantic as my journeys are. Err... The pace is actually as frantic as my palpitations are. It is that part of the year where we await the results. And, most of this episode of travel are associated with the results. 

Frantic Diaries- 7

It is in single digits now, the countdown to the D-day. I am hoping for something, that I will not be resting until I hear about it. The upcoming days will be severely testing. But, beyond it is something that is about to take you to an all new level. It is these kind of days that will make everyone realise how supreme you are. And, all I wish is to somehow find out about your results. 

Frantic Diaries- 6

There is a sense of fear catching up. I normally do not let fear get the better hold of me. But, as time draws closer, it certainly gives me a feeling of fear taking hold of me. As I go through days where there has been a level of activity pertaining to something I cannot disclose here, the spine starts to freeze like how I have seen only in animated flicks. 

Frantic Diaries- 5

God's game, as they always say is hard to predict. One such instance is where I am right now. In the rush to complete 24 hours in a day, we come across so much but, they are not always the same. Dealing with such complexity is not child's play. Yet, we manage or we somehow get through the 24 hours for the day. 

Frantic Diaries- 4

A very special day by tradition. And, it has become a tradition to make this day of the week so special. The day of the week that has always brought us together, this day of the week that usually makes us feel each other and the depths of our thoughts and emotions, hmmm... I wonder what today has in store for us. 

Frantic Diaries- 3

Some people have brains. Some people have beauty. Only very few are gifted with both Brains and beauty. You are one among them. Such a privilege it is to be gifted of all. The reason why it is a challenge for you to bond with anyone or for others to bond with you is this privilege. It is like the two sides of a coin where if one side brings benefit, the other side brings you trouble. 

Frantic diaries- 2

With continuous challenge comes constant improvement. With constant improvement comes evolution and with evolution comes surivival and this survival ensures sustenance. This, my Love is how we have come a long way. 

Whenever there is chaos, we tend to sway here and there, our behaviour might be often shaken, but our beliefs stay intact. By birth, what was written as destiny if you believe in that, is what has brought us together. And, in this destiny should you doubt, I ask you my Love?!

What takes precedence could well be a way to make us figure out the prominence of our togetherness, and what remains of prime concern to us need not necessarily take precedence in time. What appears to be giving a sense of satisfaction need not necessarily be the right choice made during turbulent times. 

What appears chaotic nearby will become immaterial if observed from a distance. What tastes like nectar could well be something else wrapped with sweet essence. In what element to believe is a matter of choice but to hook ourselves to one right belief is not in our hands until we find that belief saving the day for us. 

During times of turbulence or whenever there is a swerve so large, the right beliefs, the hope, and the parameters that have defined our togetherness shall come to play. The role they play will compensate the toll circumstances take on us. For, we live by promises and the truth in the depths of our heart let us sustain through all the circumstances. 

I am not sure in what state of shock or in what state of mindset I am right now. But, I sense turbulence at both our ends and I know we will sail through this pretty soon. As part of frantic diaries, adding one more post here. 

-rPhoenix

Angry...

Attitude...

The Urge...

Frantic diaries- 1

Unposted Letter...

You appear in traces as I search for you. Nobody can ever comprehend nor live through this joyful experience of Loving you. For, I know at best about you and I live at most of your presence. The heart's never-ending battle to find you and reach you is my race against the clock. The heart's beat is nowadays more of a reminder to run to you. All in all, what is Life, if there is no Love?

The promising promise...

To, the Woman of my Life- Bubbles \(^_^)/

From what looks like a death bed, the fears of not seeing or hearing you, the frantic beats of the heart to escape this stricken body and seek refuge in you, the dire need to get up and move right away, even if it is to fall, let it be near you than in this solitary confinement. Oh, my Love. Are you alright?

How many hurdles, hordes of them upon which we have laid our road to glory, still in pursuit of formally announcing our togetherness; My Lady! We are not finding anyone stronger than ourselves because we are the epitomes of strength and valour right now. For, the extent to which we endure everything and stand tall is only known to us.

My Bubbles, you are the Woman of my Life. I am so proud of that and I take immense pride to announce it to this world and beyond. Of how you have conducted yourself, through strifes so rife, of mutinies and revolts and battles and its scars... In the blinding pain and fading sight, of how fair and clear you have marched through, paving way for definitions to be redefined in your own right, claiming bragging rights all to yourself, rising and sailing across turbulence... You have made me bow down to your excellence. I never bow down but, you have achieved this today. I bow down, my Lady! My Lovely Bubbles \(^_^)/ -rPhoenix

Oh my Love...

There is a dire need for your presence tonight. In deep thought through the day, struggling to keep the body out of pain, the mind is working overtime to find you somehow. The body temperature is so high, the joints are paining so badly. Eyes can barely stay open, the breathing rhythm is so strained out, this is no normal sickness. It has to be kicked aside and it will happen only with your presence assured.

So,...

So,

The 'r' and Lady Love...

So what if my dreams did not match my current reality? I am empowered to drag my reality all the way to meet my dreams or I will die trying. I will never give up on my dreams and neither will I give in to the pressure it is applying on my circumstances. I will pull along everyone and everything I feel I need in Life to be associated with my dreams and I will also kick aside anyone or anything that tries to pull me down. Thus, my Lady I continue to fight. Day in and day out. Even during the nights.

Shall I, Shall you...

There is clearly something coming ahead. If I can find out what it is, then there is no meaning in Life's surprise element. But, we are heading towards it. We are about to witness it together. So, these are the last days..... Of either the pained existence or of these painful experiences.

Seriousness...(KEEP OFF! DO NOT READ!)

I know how many times you have mentioned about seriousness in Life. I know you have a perception about me that I have no seriousness in/about Life. I know you see only at the grass roots level of posts, Roses, about my fantasy talks and come up screaming asking if these would solve everything in Life. But,..... But,.... Just ask yourself, how much has missed your eye?! And, how much has skipped your thoughts?!...

Up the stakes... Am all in...

The stakes were really high even before it all started. It never bothered. Even now, the stakes just got a lot more higher, in fact pushing the bar to an all new altitude, where everything is at stake. Wow! What a gamble this is turning out to be?!

Roses and us...

My Bubbles \(^_^)/ Hey, my Bubbles! I am calling you. Yes. You! Come here, my Bubbles \(^_^)/ *playing edho jaruguthondhi from Fidaa*. My Lady! I need you. Damn! In what other language should I say this to make you understand?! You understand everything and you know everything, yet you sit there for reasons known only to you and me. 

Icecream therapy returns...

Every time I come here, I feel like I am coming to sit down and talk to you. It gives me a special feel to pen down here. I know someday these words will reach you or you will reach out for these words. I wait to come and scribble my heart out to you so that at least here I am free to express without being blocked or restricted. 

You are...

Hello Love! I am here. I have so much to say. We have so little time to waste. We should be playing the game of catchup with everyone's timelines. But, as of now we are taking all our time to give you all the space you need. Ultimately, what is Life if you are being driven around all the time? Let's create a driving seat for each of us so that we can drive through and live the experience fully. 

You name it...

My Love! Your silence, absence, avoidance of the altar, all that you are undergoing, all of which you are hiding from me, oh I have been such a lamer, Bubbles \(^_^)/. Today, as I stand on the terrace of my workplace and try to look beyond the skies, I am able to realise what I missed to see beyond my selfishness. Yes, my selfishness. 

Confessions...

Sometimes it is good to speak frankly and  about things that have been protected by the ego element. Today, I will let out few of those aspects that my ego prevented me from saying out loud. Firstly, yes. I have learnt so much from you which I felt ashamed to have not learnt being ahead of you in age. 

Our Universe...

So, looks like it is back to square one again. Alright. The secret to success is not in the destination where we reach but, it is the journey that matters. As far as faith is powering a quest, the success that we are desiring will be constantly evasive, but it will definitely be attained by those who dare. 

Fortune favours the brave. You are my fortune, Bubbles \(^_^)/ . And, this delay is only testing my courage. I have buckled under pressure, thrown things all around but, I am never known for giving up on you. I will always strive to bring out the actual person you desire me to be. These are very turbulent times. Staying isolated only adds to the silence and this silence only rekindles the unwanted thoughts that we should set aside. Together as we team-up, it is an added shielding for each other to stay intact and keep ourselves intact.

I have crossed a couple of paragraphs now, my Love. But, do you know that I actually feel like apologising for my actions in the past week or so?! Yes. I am sorry Bubbles. I am extremely sorry. I hope you understand my view as well. I housed so much anxiety and upon expecting something from you and failing to get it from you, I lost myself. I totally agree that it is not what is expected from someone who has been with you for so long. I am sorry raa. 

What a day?!...

My Lady! My Bubbly Love! Of all the days I have reported to work, today is the best. It is because of how I started the day and where I landed by the end of the day. Wow! So excited throughout, it was a splendid day altogether. So, how did it go? I am narrating. 

Conversations...

Everyone has dreams. Likewise, you too spoke about dreams. But, you did not elaborate on them. I understand your concerns. I wish to address them at the earliest as well. When people ask me as to why I do not make decisions and bring you to me, I just look at them and take a deep breath and just smile and leave the conversation by patting them casually. Only I know what it is like to face it all. 

Miss you...

Miss you, my Love! Oh, I Miss you so much...

I hear your voice from inside and I Miss you when I cannot catch it outside...

Walk with your words...

When I was undergoing an emotional turmoil after completing a quarter of a century's worth of days living my Life, you came in. You asked me to be in your Life. You accepted me. You brought so much to my Life. I started living. For you, to make your Life worth every moment that when you take your last breath, I wanted you to fight for much more time with me. This, my Love is still my intention to stay with you. 

Oh my Love...

Oh my Love, will you not make me feel that excitement?

Oh my Love, will you not take me into you?

WTF?...

It was not fine and it is still not fine to what has been taken away from me. If it had to be taken away, they could have probably not given it to me in the first place. Since they gave it, they could have just let me keep it with me. Instead, it was given, taken and now there is something that is causing an issue because of this mismatch.

ET...

Who is an alien? What are Extra-terrestrials? I may not be able to give you the exact answer for those questions. But, I can answer if you ask me whether extra-terrestrials exist. Yes, they do. Even, I am one of them. In what way, I can clarify. That is what this post is all about. Earlier in Life, I always had a misconception that was later clarified through a series of realisations and ultimately, I am here today penning down about the existence of ETs.

Truth...

Ahoy! So, the preparatory break is over now. Time to unleash the restricted words. This morning as I was waking up, I had the exam day tension all over me and as I tried to calm down and think, I had already come up with three topics to write on. I did not want to go with the rush of thoughts and waited till Noon and here I am, still holding those three topics intact. And, that only means, I have very little time left to start scribbling on them or about them.

Ironical destiny...

Right now, I do not want to sleep because it will put me into another day of uncertainty. Neither do I want to stay awake because I have got on answers today. In what sphere do I exist, it does not matter. In what dimension I dwell, it is of least bother. What is of constant concern is you, Bubbles! I am on the look out for any minute hint of knowing about you. These are desperate times. They might result in desperate measures. Where are we heading? What are we thinking?

Random audit...

Shushhhhh! And, observe. You have a lot to learn. Pick all of them or in random. Just look at what people are looking to make out of you?! Are they here for benefits? Are they here for gains? Are they here out of genuine concern? Are they showing signs of fading? Are they showing signs of staying? Are they giving you hints of their actual purpose? Just read all of them around you without making a noise. Stop everything where they are and do a random audit. Slowly make this activity your routine, you will learn a lot about those who are around you.

Fluidic...

Occurrences in Life and their repercussions alter our future course of action. Somewhere in between I have lost my flair. I am not even aware if I had such flair. Not anymore are these words sought after, is what I hear. I am not worried about the reasons. Neither am I trying to find out the same. It has become an addiction that I feel if I do not sit and pen down something that comes to my mind for that moment, I am not able to relax myself. I have purposely lost my readers for some other purpose. In fact, I never started writing to gather readers.

Sifting through...

Oh, I have got the answers. Now, what? The game has begun only now. Until now, there was a cloud of mystery covering everything. With the wraps off the suspense elements comes the urge to fight and win your hand. Let the words flow and be filtered. There will be a way emerging out of that. Whom do I talk to? Where do I seek guidance? It is all here that I have to pour. I have to pour all the words and sift through them to find all the guidance and support all by myself. I am ready to do that. I am ready to do anything and everything that will clear your doubts.

Explorer...

Explorer.exe is an important file in an OS. The same explorer in ourselves is so important for Life. File and Life, no big difference in their letters but there is so much importance for the explorer in each of its environment. But, this explorer file sometimes has been debated to be giving problems to people. Likewise, the explorer in us gives us problems at times. But, that does not mean the explorer has been banished.

Network...

I have been quite lame in few things of recent. In the way I have dealt with emotions or say, the flow of energy arising out of various emotions and the way I dump them has been subject to a lot of criticisim inside and outside of me. I should have channeled the flow in the right or justified way. The way I have spilled the beans seems to be tripping me over when we sit back and take a look at the mess I have left behind.

Dot Dot Dot

Hmmm... Nothing seems to be interesting me nowadays. Mood swings. Lack of interest. What else? The previous post was about pouring out, now it is about how I have not been able to find anything interesting. I went to get updates on topics like automobiles, gadgets, etc., But, not even one video I completed watching fully and not even one article was fully read. Now, I am with music. I feel like playing the songs at faster play speed. Which one should I choose? 1.5x or 2x? I rather close the jukebox and sit. To sit idle is like sitting on a hot stove now. So, here I am.

A thousand miles...

I feel like crying out. I want to pour it out. But, there is no one around. There is a heaviness inside that is consuming my inner self. There is a sense of guilt, pain and frustration that is trying to rob me of the little that I have in hand. I might have used words earlier that might have sounded like curses but, they are not alike. For whatever I have been holding inside, there is no way to express it through words. It is something that can only be experienced and not spoken out. This is something that the Gods have to answer.

Infinity and beyond...

There are lots riding on us. How much importance do others play in that is just a fraction when compared to how many lives are impacted by our actions. Be it negative or positive, the impact remains constant. Some people make us feel good and some make us feel bad. It could be in matters that connect us with ourself. In that way, you came in and made me feel connected with something that impacted me in many ways. Are we heading for a showdown here?

Matters of the heart...

You are the morning dream I wake up to. You are the first thought in my conscious state. You are the priority I work towards. You are the force that I look out for. You are my voice that echoes far. You are the dream that I crave for. You are my Love, you make me fine. You are that source of light, my eternal sunshine. Bubbles \(^_^)/ 

Revelation...

I am here to make a revelation. I guess this post will never end. This is about my more than three decades of existence. I am not here to complain or lament. I am here to reveal, just that and nothing more or less. Of all that I have come across, of all that I have been subject to. I will take my time to add content. So, this post does not end with today. It will be a question and answer session with myself.

Let us start this. 

The trophy...

I am here for bragging rights. Yes, they are mine this time. All of them mine to be taken. What happens when you are at an all time low and when there is a New Year coming up and you do not want anything to go negative, no matter how irrelevant or trivial it maybe to your course of progress? I will tell you what happened couple of days back when I came across one such trivial or irrelevant, yet crucial incident for the upcoming New Year.

The ace...

It is just couple of hours into the New Year, 2019. I have a handful of lessons already coming into this year. At the stroke of midnight came the first lesson. With the year still having a lot more to offer, it is the entry with a lot from the previous year that is keeping the mind a little occupied. Until the stroke of midnight was an anxiety anticipating the birth of a New Year. Once the moment has gone past, it is amazing how we immediately go into packing our bags with all the lessons learnt so far in Life and mustering all the positivity for the year ahead.