Just play that track for another ten times at least. *playing maate vinadhuga from taxiwaala* Alright, so that is what you do, Babe. Alright, you are content over there. But, it does not mean this verbal emptying should be paused, right? I have been trying to find some sleep for quite sometime. But, this heaviness that is hitting me from inside is like making me come out here and play those tracks nonstop and ponder over so many things to catch a glimpse of what is exactly causing this feel tonight.
This is not new. Oh, Boy! Any movie actress on screen appears like you, nowadays. Whatever actions they perform, I am seeing you instead of the actual person on screen. This track is making me take the 'lorry' by morning and ride all the way to you, Bubbles. Such is the heaviness that I am not able to sit in one place and do anything for myself. This is like a magnet attracting all the metal filings to itself. You are gravity. And, the pull is so intense.
*playing Choosi chudangane from Chalo* This is yet another track that takes me already into the journey in my dreams. While one track is making me do it in reality, one is making me do it in dreams. There is a festival of lights coming soon. But, I have not been into celebration anytime other than visiting you and being near you or at least in visiting places of our interest. Festivals are mere mentions in the calendar. The real festival is something I am waiting for.
I have developed a craving for your words, a voracious appetite that will make me feel content only when my ears become deaf upon hearing your words and eyes go blind upon endlessly reading your words. What makes Love so special of all emotions? Well, it thrives even on hatred. When I ask you to speak, you do not. And, I do not like that at all. But, upon the hatred at your silence, this crazy Love thrives. It feeds on all those hatred and grows stronger than ever before. Oh, Love! How beautiful you are?!
I remember a post from you, a long one indeed elaborating about your morning routine getting delayed and how you take me through the post by describing your routine and that morning in particular. Tonight, I can read it in my mind and it is still fresh inside and your voice echoes calling me to you. But, you did not turn up tonight. At every visit of yours, I gain something. It is like a dose of medicine to me to get through these times of your physical absence. And, when you stay away, I suffocate and end up sitting up like tonight and going through whatever I am going through now.
The stats page is like my pulse. When there is a drop in the visits, there is a drop in my pulse. Similarly, when there is a spike in the visits from you, there is an adrenaline rush giving me an immense energy boost. "Heart in robes". This is like you do not want to read it. Fine. I am not forcing neither. Someday, it will reach you for sure. I take it as a post that will come to your sight when the time comes. Until then, I will read it time and again and look forward for you.
One of your social media accounts was deleted a year ago. Today marks the first anniversary of what I lost by that. Of what we gained also exists with all those avenues for misunderstanding and miscommunication having been eradicated. I envy your friends and all those who get to see you and spend time with you. But, I am thankful that this medium is available between you and them and not between us because today, you and me have a clear way of communication i.e., through our hearts, which is not present with them. Only you and me can do it. I am feeling lik a bau5 right now about that. Now, there will be misunderstandings and miscommunication happening between you and them over that dreaded medium but, between you and me, it is the true beat of our hearts that will keep us perfectly synced.
I came here with a heavy feel. I certainly did not pen down what I wanted to initially but got lost into something else and made an already lengthy post. I guess this is a long night ahead and sleep could be something that I can get only after riding to and fro. I need not worry about feeling tired with this new playlist that is making me feel like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney tunes running around so fast and crazy. We need to meet. We need to talk. We need to get our Life our way. We need to walk by the beach and find happiness in just looking at the waves and the landscapes around and be at peace. -rPhoenix
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