Dear god...

If that is what they seek or prefer, let it happen by the majority's wish. Cull this bird as it keeps rising from the ashes. Cull this greed that keeps raising the expectations with every rise. The magic in you can put me to peace. The magic in you can let me face these. The magic in you can make anything and everything. But, why the delay? Though i kept someone informed about the events, i ended up facing the slamming of doors at my face. And, i can see the doors every time but the bolts are too strong to knock off. What does their silence mean? Are they even aware of what's happening outside? How long can they remain shut behind the doors? Is it just a door or is it the archway to their tombstone? Dear god, i know and i have felt your presence. I can feel it whenever i need it. Thank you for bestowing upon me such a wonderful gift.

In this world, i don't seem to be having any interest anymore. They worship money, they worship fake smiles, fake identities and fake everything. I ain't greater than you to term my presence here as a mistake but i wonder what if this i never existed? I wonder how things or plots would have unfolded for those who walked in with tears and walked out perfecting the stabs and kicks on me? I ain't complaining. I wanted to ponder over questions that have always left me riddled. In the game i play, i never kill women and children. I use warfare only at the battle ground. There is so much humanity to me even in a game. But, in your game, though i ain't greater than you, i don't find the missing piece to connect your way of handling me in your strategy. I have attained wisdom better than my own self from yesterday and i know i will still be an illiterate in front of my own self from tomorrow. This is a random scribble. I try to connect to you. I just walked the dog at this hour just to get some fresh air. You decided to keep my loved one safe elsewhere. I am glad with that. But, my hunger, my sleep, my smile, my everything seems to have followed suit. In the game i play, i allow free trade. I entertain bargaining and even barter. In your game, i don't understand the way you move these pieces. 

Your game is so complex. I am sitting right under you. I have always been so. You make me type this very word and make me say that i don't want to learn your game either. Absolutely fine. Tomorrow is back again. I have no answers. All i have is hope, love, tears, fears, beliefs, desires, prayers, dreams, questions, pain, patience, composure, and i can list down if you had no idea about who i am. You created me. I am a card in your game. You know better. That is why you made me move to the next sentence when i was lost thinking for things that you gave me few minutes back.

I waited for six long months and you helped me do it with exactly the way i wanted it to be. Six months for nothing but just this. It meant six months of life for me. Every passing minute, every passing day, week and month until the moment you make me see her and tell her those magical three words, i can't stop admiring the excitement, adventure and surprise your game packs. But, i also fear the aftershocks you associate with your moves. I ain't greater than you to request you to relieve her from pain or free her from tears, but, i am happy that you gave her pain and tears for few minutes and the same to me for the remaining period. I am happy if she gets to smile for the rest of the period while you continue to strain me until i am stained.

May i know the reason why you let her stay in my heart? If it's not forever, it's not love. I hear your answer. Thank you. May i know the reason as to why you choose to take a break from the game every time just before moving my card? I hear you say that you love this prank. As far as you are with me or you are planning to take me to you, i would take back the question i asked. May i know the reason as to why i am the change agent for the select few? I hear you say that's how the game is. Alright. I realise  i have no authority to question you further. Your game is complex and  far beyond human comprehension. I quit thinking about your game. I would like to extend my gratitude here for moving her pieces pretty well and letting me take the whipping. One thing i can pretty well understand in your game is the balancing that you do. Hats off!!! And, thus i get off this page ending this bizarre note.  - r_Phoenix