For every life I have come across, I hold a sense of responsibility to be there and make sure they are in safe waters. Dragging along a huge pile of memories, Life is not worth it if you do not stand for those who presented themselves for you when it mattered. When this began, I did not have any tailing memories and it seemed easy. But, as years pass and you accumulate more such lives and memories, the going gets tough.
For a song that captures your heart, we go into praising how much effort had gone into making it. The tune, the intial image of the song in the creator's mind, the music, the lyrics and so on. Do we do that analysis for every song? No. What captured your heart is what matters to you. Similarly, we do not go in depth about every person in our Life. We do it only for those who stood there and made you stand when there were kneeling times or circumstances. So, if you are one among those who stood for me, remember that I am keeping a close watch on you at least until you are in safe hands.
People have always commented that I write at my best only in a sad tone. Well, pardon me people. Maybe I got involved too much that I have not stopped with people, but also embracing emotions as well. And, my Life has had more sad tones than merry ones. Maybe when a day comes to embrace happiness, I shall try to be natural and let's see what comes by in my posts.
I have placed a closer watch on people who stood for me, I still do so. The satisfaction one gets to see such brave souls find safer hands, is simply priceless. Looking from a distance, it does bring in a sense of gloom for not taking part in that celebratory moment. Still, to know that they are settling is what is worth dragging all this pile along for all the miles we clock.
This reminds me of my early school days where an interesting disappointment would await me every time a new academic year begins or even after every term's vacation. The school reopens, we are all eager to see our classmates soon. Like everyone, I had the same joy in me until the moment where I would enter the class and when I would look around, there would be my classmates calling their friends to take a seat near them but, as I struggled to find a voice calling me, I would go from bench to bench trying to find a place but, I used to get answers like, "This place is already taken", "Hey! Find some other place, my friend is coming", "You are sitting here? Then, I will move out" and so on.
I did not know what was the problem back then because I was just a kid like everyone else. Once, I had been standing all the time failing to find a place and when the teacher found one for me, I was not welcomed even there when I saw them sulk all the time. Talk about being depressed, I guess I will top the ranks hands down. Talk about being lonely, I will give you the best examples from my time.
Yet, I made sure I kept an eye on each and every person from my early childhood days to till date and I can tell how they settled in Life and when. I did not spare juniors or seniors as well. Not everyone has settled, let me be honest with that. So, my vision is still focused on few who are trying to settle down and I visualise how Life would have been for those who missed out on their span beyond their fate. Yes, those who perished so early in their lives, I still have their smiles intact from those days of innocence.
So, to me those who stand for me, always are a jewel in the crown. Because, I have been subject to neglect and isolation right from my early childhood. Maybe if a voice had called me to sit near them, maybe if my early days had been gifted to embrace other emotions, maybe if Luck had favoured in offering a different flavour in Life, and maybe if so many things had been in place, this post would not have been in this tone. Agreed? And, my Lovely Bubbles! Now you know why I stand for you always. *winks* -rPhoenix
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