It was 10p.m when i came out of the temple premises after a good darshan. It was also my 10th visit to tirumala in less than four months. Everything that was bothering me in my mind was taking a break for sometime and i was feeling so refreshed and relaxed. The cool breeze sweeping the hills was making me shiver a little but i still had to walk few hundred metres to reach my luggage counter. I was blessed to have gotten darshan the same day and felt sorry for those who were literally driven away from the counters by the police and the volunteers. With the prasadham carefully placed in my hands, i was trying to make my way out of the crowd and find a place to have dinner. That would be my first meal for the day as i make it a point i don't eat a meal till i seek darshan from Lord Venky. Although i have fruits or snacks occasionally, this time i was feeling very hungry than usual. But, the very thought that i am being invited by the Lord himself so many times whilst everyone i knew had abandoned/deserted/ignored/ looked upon during this year so far. The very feeling which i wanted to keep off from felt like coming back. I decided to go near the temple once again to feel closer to god to get rid of such thoughts creeping further.
Even before i could take the turn and move, a voice called from behind. It was the voice of an old man who was almost down to tears, holding a bag, clad in a white dhoti n white shirt that tells us pages about a rural Indian's life. The shaky voice was heard again. It was him calling for help. He was calling out people to help him. But, due to his inability to converse in telugu, he was unheard of by the masses passing by. I had never got a chance to help anyone who hasn't been my acquaintance. This time, i chose to get closer to him and see what his problem was. He began narrating as to how he got lost in the crowd and kept repeating the last few lines that said, "i came here to shave my head and seek darshan and get back home, but i got lost in the crowd. Am not a person with mental stability. My vision gets bad during nights." On hearing his story of getting lost in the crowd, i was suddenly moved to tears and felt "you and me aren't different. You are lost in this crowd and you need your 20 accomplices but am lost in a bigger crowd but i don't exactly know how many or who to look for?" With that, i decided to delay my dinner further and find a way to help this man.
He was so scared, i could see him shiver with fear and hold my hands so tight that he was indirectly telling me that he did not want to lose the helping hand. I tried to do my best by explaining that i will take him to the broadcast centre and ask the person to announce on the public address system which echoes till the foothills. I told him that all these are bound to happen and it is god who has sent help and he will not be let alone in this crowd and there's no need to be afraid or worried. We walked the round about route and reached the enquiry counter and found the location of the broadcast center. The old man in his sixties was getting more worried and was repeating those last lines that made me feel even worse. Not that he was lost, but because of the fact i face having gotten lost in a vast crowd. I braced up and made it a point that i am not returning without helping this man. We came close to the temple entrance, the giant gopuram was towering every other person or object in its vicinity. I knew i could have taken the bus the same night and returned home but what good am i doing to the society or atleast to the needy? What am i going to lose by lending this helping hand and that too after knowing the importance or after having yearned for such a helping hand in my life???
As i kept motivating him and explaining him about his safety, he seemed to listen at last. He started to breathe properly, relax his grip on my hand and walked with some hope. We reached the broadcast center. I walked in and a man who was on duty hesitantly asked, "what can i do for you?" When i replied saying that i needed his help to make an announcement, he immediately started to clear his voice and asked me to enter the details for the announcement. I called the old man and asked him to give the details by himself. This gave him a huge relief as he saw the volunteer enter all the details on the register and made the announcement. After hearing the announcement, the old man thanked me and said "this help will never be forgotten" and was almost moved to tears. I took him out and asked him if he had food and would like to have some refreshments and he immediately said, "am not hungry. i want to shave my head and go to the temple and seek darshan and go home". I assured him that his 20 accomplices will find him in few minutes and he can go to the temple by morning. I even told him i would accompany him to the tirupati bus stand and help him board a bus to his hometown but he said he had come to the temple and at the moment wanted to reunite with his crowd. I just prayed that he be united with his crowd to my best friend and saviour Lord Venky.
Few minutes later, the old man had gained confidence that his people will find him and wished me luck and when i asked him if i could leave, he agreed. But, after walking few yards, that very question came back asking me "Aren't you lost too? Whom are you gonna ask help for? That old man even at sixty years, has a crowd of 20, but all through your tirumala visits, you have been lost, travelling alone, lost in the crowd. Do you have an answer for the questions within you? Do you know who you are? Do you know how the world sees you? What are you? Why are you losing contacts in you phonebook? Why are you not just normal? What is the purpost of your life? Where are you heading?" To my relief, i just found these questions fade slowly with hope returning assuring me that Lord venky is there to take me to his place, comfort me, keep me closer to him and recharge the necessary energy levels in me. With a final glance at the temple and knowing that i am going to be back here again soon, i decided to begin my journey back home which would mean, sleep in the bus terminus or the bus till 3A.M and take the first bus home.
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