The Phase...

It does not mean you are living just because you are alive. So, if someone throws you a question if you are alive, what would you reply? Most of them would question the person who questioned them asking, "Are you sane? or Are you blind? or Do I appear dead?" and the like. Some would take it on a lighter note and reply, "Yes." Very few would come up with an exciting "Yes, very much". And, it is very rare to find those who would open up and say, "Well, I am just existing" or something similar. Well, all those above mentioned answers or categories of people do not matter. I am here to tell you about something else.

A long night...

Just play that track for another ten times at least. *playing maate vinadhuga from taxiwaala* Alright, so that is what you do, Babe. Alright, you are content over there. But, it does not mean this verbal emptying should be paused, right? I have been trying to find some sleep for quite sometime. But, this heaviness that is hitting me from inside is like making me come out here and play those tracks nonstop and ponder over so many things to catch a glimpse of what is exactly causing this feel tonight.

What have I...?

What have I done for her? What have I given for her? Where have I taken her? There is a lot to ponder over. I do remember the list that comprises of what I have taken from her. I know what she has given for me. I know the places where she has taken me. She made a mention of feeling heavy. I did not feel it by then because I was elated by her presence. Now, I feel heavy. Partly upon realising that in spite of my presence, she felt heavy and I failed to do anything about that. Partly upon realising something else.

Heart in robes...

A silver lining in my skies, beaming at me as she fights;

Her battles were never in my plight, For she kept them always out of my sight;

In her ventures she showed me some light, towards where she headed always kept us in delight;

In the cold nights, she kept me away from the fright, Oh, we never knew of frost bite;

Until the moment, sanity came in and said, "Oh my Love, I have put you in deep strife".

Some stuff...

Some statements, some terminologies, some phrases are not meant to be heard or received. Not from your very near and dear and never from your loved one. Everyone undergoes stressful times and everyone has problems. And, there will be so much that we will come across or hear or feel during these times. What lets us come through in spite of our scars is not the motivation or determination, but the absence and avoidance of certain statements or terminologies or phrases. If such things are avoided, we get through faster and stronger. But, if those things happen, they will create scars bigger than those bitter experiences.

Indebted...

There is hope. And, hope is dangerous for people like me. For, hope lets everyone breathe further. Well, I have to breathe as long as I clear my debts to few people. I see God's cunning hand in always keeping me with some debts so that I will not take the plunge into the after-life. I do not have the mindset to look into anyone's eyes right now for where I stand in my Life. I do not meet people, I do not talk to anyone, I am simply not connected anywhere. I do not know what I am here for. But, I have to ensure the debts are cleared to keep my name intact.

The force within...

I lay in wait, keeping my voices and actions at an all time low, trying to stay quiet until my time arrives. You seem to be occupied with the task in hand, little did I know that my task in hand would be to be on the lookout for you. Well, if I had known this in advance, I would have not let you slip through.