Toxic air...

Babe, where are you? I have a lot to tell you. By the almighty's grace, the lorry has been saved. I have been supplied with an instrument to bail myself out for the time being. But, is this happiness? Certainly, no. True happiness would be having you to celebrate this happening instead of preventing the lorry from facing the axe.

I close my eyes and see myself surrounded by a lot of flowers, of different kinds, from different parts of the world but all I feel is you. As I turn around to find you, I am feeling let down by these flowers as they seem to be blinding my view from finding you. On the contrary, when my eues are open, I walk staright to the rose garden and sit there staring at the plants and do a heart speak with them. 

While neither of them are giving me the satisfaction of finding you in flesh, a new sense of panic sets in. No set of songs, nor any music, nor any verse is making me feel any better. Whatever the world is throwing at me, I am flinging it back with the same force. I am resembling a ravaging storm but without making much noise outside. 

Babe, where are you? Are my words not making any sense to you? Let these words make no sense. But, I know my voice is echoing inside you and no matter how much you try to silence it, the voice will bring in the much needed meaning for all these. My biggest relief in all these is, the amount of time and effort that is going in containing you safe and secure inside me all the time and remaining in a state of fondness to love you. 

I get to handle a Girl Baby and all I am left with are the thoughts of how you would have grown up as a Girl Baby. I get to drive around and I am finding myself drawn to the road leading to you. I get to meditate to find peace. And, the missing pieces to peace are found when I visualise you. Ah, this Life is in dedication to you. I see that clearly. 

The heart is built to pump blood from within. But, the lungs are not built to circulate air from within. The punishing effect you have given me with this silence is like making me breathe air out of my own lungs. The more I try to inhale, it suffocates and without inhalation, how do I exhale? In all, how do I breathe? *Playing How do I breathe by Mario*

The lyrics of that song is all but my stark reality. Babe, where are you? I know you are inside me. But, to live a complete Life, that realisation is not just enough and by now you should be knowing the same. Bubbles \(^_^)/ -rPhoenix