The Almighty...

The almighty- I am. The native- I am. I ascend- unlike those who descend. I give- unlike those who buy. I reckon- unlike those who simply beckon. The warrior- I am. The survivor- I am. The Lover- I am. A f@cking believer- I am. 

What a(n)...

Not very often, yet at times the heart swells like it has so much to convey. But, it finds no flow and beats awry. The joy of composing verses from once upon a time, the tunes of yesteryears and a lot more to reduce this burden- one so heavy to take your breath away. What better way than Lauren Evans' Dream Awake to put this to light? Looking away instantly trying to catch the fading breath, the rush of adrenaline to shed a tear, the rising palpitation breaking a sweat, uff! What a start to an end?!

Pathetic plagiarism...

Absolute stillness... Just batting the eyelids and battling something, trying to find solace in the rhythm of a pounding heart, starts this note. Unwilling to go back to fondness, unable to move forward, staring at the brutal murderers and their lifeless souls, goes this night. With increasing rage on the plagiaristic intentions and actions, of how one's dreams have now become the reality of some other, and why no other will ever utter a word for this injustice, such absolute stillness... Absolute stillness...

No escape...

I have pain inside. It hurts a lot. It has no voice and hence it runs around hurting without being noticed by anyone. The pain is so intense that it disrupts breathing. It feels like a giant turbine sucking all the air in my lungs. It causes discomfort in the chest like some heavy weights pulling me down. An invisible force so powerful that it operates in every dimension I know of. There is no escape even after accepting reality....

My reply to The Complete Man...

Voila! The day I was waiting for has come. That tag which was thrown at me never bothered me because I know who I am. But, if I had tried to explain it back then, my circumstances would have weakened my argument. Also, trying to defend it years ago and then substantiating it with the wonderful fact I have today would not create the blockbuster slap I am giving back today for having thrown trash at me. Are you ready? Boy, am I so excited to reveal it. F@ck yeah! lik a bau5...

The doors...

Was that for me? The doors. I saw them. Few days ago,  I saw them appear. I still see it. But, without being sure if it is for me, I am not knocking them. But, I must admit the feel was totally out of this world to see them appear. Wow! So, tell me. Did you open the doors for me? Oh wait! I should ask, did you put those doors there for me to knock? I am ready. Awaiting your confirmation for the same.

The moment...

Both had taken their flight, each flying in from different places to a common destination. After a lull, this is their first reunion since years. One, that both had doubted and wished would happen in their Life again. Now that it is about to take place, will everything go as planned? Do they even have a plan? Can these even be planned? 

Due tribute...

This has been waiting for quite a long time now. Every time I scribble, I do it mostly from my point of view. I just scribble to bring out what is bothering me from inside. And, while I have been doing that, I always wonder about one thing, but it has not happened till now as to how or what goes on on the other side I care about?! Also, my scribbling aligning with my gender will not be from my opposite gender's perspective obviously. So, let me try analysing this aspect which has kept me guessing for more than a decade now. 

How long?...

I have been angry, upset and totally helpless. But, for how long can I hate you? Can I even do that? I tried. I tried to remain angry. Maybe I still am angry but, I see I cannot do that anymore. I have tried to stay away, push you away, even throw abuses, but did it work? Partly yes, mostly no.

Avventura...

Who stops me from scribbling? Why should I restrict myself? I have the freedom to express and I will do it. It feels like a complete refresh. The cycle seems to have completed. So, what's next? I am aware of. Is this a never-ending one? That, I am not sure of. Anyway, let's go. 

The urge...

Here we go again. I am back. After resisting to scribble back to back posts for the last few hours, I am here scribbling. Again! All of a sudden words are not under control. The heart wants to keep scribbling on and on. This reminds me of those early days of creating this altar. Somewhere something has gone loose to give me this urge to keep scribbling. How much sense am I going to make? I have no idea. Alright, the heart wants to scribble, fingers are ready to play the piano on the keyboard but what do I scribble about? No specific topics as such. Am just going to go with the flow.

Flashes...

I have seen your face more than ever in the last few days. I cannot abstain from looking into your eyes. I have scribbled a lot here. What filtered out as words here are not even a fraction of what has been going as thoughts inside. Some memories are too far from the timeline but how they defy time to stay so close and poke every now and then, only to keep me awake to keep looking into those eyes and be lost in a vast universe of your self. 

Bubbly Li'l Bubbles... \(^_^)/

I Miss you. *playing Oru dheivam thandha poove sung by Chinmayi* I am struggling to put it all in words, the emotions that have been mounting inside to somehow come out by way of the right set of words that would convey it all just the way they are inside me without any other intent except to make you comprehend it. Not just a wave, but a tsunami, not just a cloud, but a cloudburst, not just a snow flake, but a blizzard- all await to hit you in the form of an emotional outburst, just to tell you one thing- I Miss You, Bubbles \(^_^)/

Admirer...

A windy evening followed by a rainy morning. What else to expect than a flurry of emotions that wants to gush out?! Gloomy is one way of portraying the skies but it can also be better conveyed as a veil covering the true expanse of what lies above. To the flawed eye, the cloud might seem to fail in embracing the land but to the admirer, the rain drops are the bridge that unites these different worlds.

Unfinished...

Awaiting everything to happen slow, wondering why life ain't a love song, why not at least a lovable song- the chords vary but the knots do not. Neither the nods nor the prods vary as well. Words better out than in, verses born out of a torn destiny, neither have any variety. A riddle once relayed, over time the native tongue is now riddle. Anything stirring the heart nowadays rings far too long.

Word play...

There is pain. There is sheer agony. But, why or what is anger doing here? Helpless, but there is help and hope somewhere. The moments that overwhelm seem to take over everything nowadays. The flashing of how things should have been keeps elongating as things keep going otherwise in each phase of life. These flashes are blinding more and more of what is visible less and less. A return to who I was becomes inevitable in order to shed what keeps clouding. This, followed by embracing anger again; Only to end up in a never-ending cycle of strife that fails to ripen to rot someday. 

Who...?

Who wrote to you last? Who wishes to see you? Who chooses you over anyone else the most? Who sees what you wish? Who stays when you are in need? Who cares? Who dreams what you deserve? Who mirrors you? Who cheers you? Who keeps you in their sight? Who longs to sit with you? Who talks to you? Who is inside you? Who can wipe your tears? Who can heal your scars? Who loves you? Who walks with you? Who makes you breathe?

Painful confession...

Sometimes you think you are about to break down while not knowing that you have already gone to shreds inside. Sometimes you run away from scribbling what is about to flow out. Sometimes you just hope the day gone past and the moment from the past to be an eternity to live in peace with the one and only one you always wish to breathe your last. In scenarios alike it dawned today. To find some hope or to confide in such hopes, the archives were opened, the tunes were playing, I still tried to postpone. In one instance of a miracle coming alive and slapping hard, I am here now. I wished for you to be here, I wished for a song and all of that happened at once. Right now, typing with trembling fingers, making many a mistake and still scribbling as fast as I could, here we go with a painful confession.

The 'light' connect...

Yet another festival of lights. What makes this worth writing about is yet to be found. But, the reason for this to be documented is cemented in place. Lights. Everywhere. Nothing captures the essence that sums up the beauty, which was once mesmerising. An eerie haunt somewhere in faint remembrance suddenly breaks a sweat, bringing to life the source of light which emanates from a pure heart. What seems to be hovering above appears to match a soul mate's stare or a glare or something. But, why?

Not for me...

I guess it is not for me. Family, friends, a life partner and so much more. It is not for me. I have met her, but not "her". I have seen many people come and go but not the ones who will stay. Is it my fault? No. It is just not for me. Is it a lament? Hell, no! It is a great realisation. Who am I? What am I? It does makes sense now. The veil of mist is clearing off on many such questions and doubts. It never occured to me that it was not for me. Had this hit before, things would have been much more pristine. Just let it go? Huh, I let everything and everyone simply go. Is it over? Yes. It is. But, it is not for me. So, there was never a start, hence, never an end.