My Life is over, I said. Everyone argued with me saying I was wrong in saying so. They kept asking me why I have come to conclusions even before I have started my Life. I do not have the energy to be in this argument. They have something to cling to in their Life or they are gifted with everything I have been denied of. Hence, I understood their views and kept quiet. But, I do realise. What did I say? My Life is over? Oh, yes. I am wrong.
Whenever I feel bogged down in Life, I try to get up and keep up the pace. But, when your struggle is decades old and in spite of all the efforts you take, there will be a tipping point in everyone's Life where they feel like totally beaten to a pulp and find themselves so fluidic to bring themselves to a solid state by themselves and continue to fight it out.
It is during such times I said My Life is over. And, whoever heard it would immediately rise up and say that I was so wrong in saying so. Yes, from their view point, they see my Life like theirs. They do care and spend some time to give some supporting words. But, where they miss out is to put themselves in my shoes and see why I say that. Of course, even the most empathetic person cannot get the real feel of someone else's Life.
Of recent, I have come to terms that I was so wrong. Why? How? I know you would like to know. So, I said My Life was over. Come on. How foolish I am to say such a thing? Everyone said one thing in common when it comes to arguing against what I said and that is, "Your Life has not even started. How can you come to such assumptions or conclusions?". So true. They are absolutely right.
Of course, when did my Life start to get over? How can I even utter such blaring erroneous statements? Only if a person has started a Life in terms of career, family, care-taking, and what not, they can come to a conclusion. I mean, only if something starts, it can come to an end. Or, only if someone had a great start to Life and suddenly things fell apart and they feel that it is all ending abruptly, they can say that their Life is ending.
I, I have been denied of such starts anyway. So, I should not commit that mistake time and again saying my Life is over. It never started in the first place. In the three decades of existence, yes, three decades of mere existence, there was never a start. So, there is no such end that I can talk of in terms of Life. All I can talk of is ending the existence which is of course not in our hands just like how birth was not.
To have a start, to be given a start, to make a start, to support a start, to sustain the start, to Live, to have starts in each dimension like Career, Love, Family, Care-taking, and so on needs a lot. Somewhere in someway, at some point of time we do need that support without which we would not be able to make a start. You can study but you were not admitted in the educational institutions by yourself. It was your caretaker or guardian or your parents who give you the start. That was just an example in the ocean of such examples that I hold.
Of course we grow. Even if you are fully grown, you do need certain ingredients to make the start by yourself. It does not happen by itself. I have been so wrong in giving such erroneous statements. I apologise. I have not started yet. It is mere existence. And, for all those who made it possible to make me feel that it is not Life and it is mere existence, I have no hard feelings against any of you. Just relax and do not let your Life become a mere existence. Live. Live Life to the fullest, for, you have been bestowed with the gift to make a start, to have a start, to be given a start, to support a start, to sustain the start, to Live and to have starts in Career, Love, Family, Care-taking and so on irrespective of what or how you made me feel. -rPhoenix
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